DeMello on waking up

I friend of mine is constantly searching the internet for other people who are offering information that appears to be guiding us towards waking up, towards the truth, a life unedited. I review all I see and usually say…try again! Nobody appears to actually be thinking through what they say and hence are sharing ‘nice’ ideas on life that don’t really explain anything in a complete sense, and certainly get us no closer to the truth, in fact they take us further away from it if you are to believe what they say….

Then one day in my inbox, in the not too distant past, was a link to an ancient looking video from some guy I had never heard of before. So I checked it out. Within seconds of listening to him, I knew this guy was at the very least opening the doors to start the process of waking up.  So I thought I would share his words of wisdom with you. I will point out though, just how elusive waking up for real is, even for him; A friend, who has been researching Anthony’s life, recently informed me that Anthony did not open his compassion to animals, and this was expressed by his partaking in the consumption of them. He used his years of conditioning as the reasoning for this(or so I am told – sounded like reasonably reliable info given the source, which I am not privy to share), which is interesting as it would appear he did not apply his own ‘knowing’ to this aspect of his life. If he had he would have stopped immediately.  And despite what he knows, I am still convinced that one cannot be awake and eat animals knowing that they must be murdered to satisfy ones pleasure – even if only because it proves that ones life story is still active enough to be controlling ones life.

Despite this, I still put it on my recommended viewing list, as maybe he just did not live long enough to transform the final step. And it is good stuff he is sharing as he is direct and to the point which is what we all need…fluffy stuff wont create the necessary change. Also he talks about illusions and the nature of our experience of life and that all we need to look at, find or run from is in fact all in our head – including the answers to life. These comments are reflected in my book The Insanity of Humanity. In these videos, he is exploring how what we think is what we believe the world to be….it’s all in our head. We have ideas of love, for example, and we keep this energy trapped in our own conceptual version of it, hence we never actually experience it.

At the end of the videos is a piece I wrote on love and relationships that will expand on all Anthony explores on this topic.

The following is one of the phases from The Insanity of Humanity…

What’s love got to do with it?

“Personal and intimate relationships carry within them the greatest embodiment of the Insanity of Humanity. If you take an up close look then you may just get a glimpse.

She loves me, she loves me not

The Insanity of Humanity is evidenced in the fact that everything you do and interact with in our lives is conditional.

One of the best areas to explore this concept is in the area of relationships as they have become a convenient place for humanity to hide in order to avoid facing the truth. This once again feeds the processes of us never understanding the true dynamics of The Game. Relationships are so heavily founded on people getting what they want and achieving their objectives, that they get caught up in process of conditional giving – which is in fact not giving it all

Imagine if life were so simple that the process of determining whether somebody loved you or not, could be discovered by plucking petals from a flower. Wouldn’t that take all the stress out of your life?

Then you stop and read the small print on the bottom of the flower plucking manual.  Firstly, you are not allowed to specifically choose a flower with a predetermined amount of petals. Secondly, you must accept the outcome.

Now just wait one second, I hear you scream, are you trying to tell me that I can in no manner shape or form control the process of what I want, and if by chance I was to get what I want, you mean I can’t control it afterwards? And this is where the processes of wanting, choice and the need to control starts to create complicated emotional responses in your life.

Letting go of the need to control and accepting outcomes are certainly not some of the stronger characteristics of human behaviour.  In fact, in the current state of the Insanity of Humanity, human beings have bought into the completely opposite mode of functioning, and that is in the notion that happiness lies in getting what you want.  So the focus of most peoples thinking is; what’s in it for me? Also, the denial attached to this interesting process, whereby people don’t want to see themselves this way, makes their behaviour even more complex and amusing to observe.

If you live in the construct created by the Problem Solving Mind then all your thoughts and actions have conditions placed upon them in terms of a desired outcome.  These conditions are often very subtle and extremely well disguised with thoughts and emotions, such as love and caring.  Irrespective of how clever the disguise, it is still just the human brain desperately trying to get what it wants.

Even if your behaviour appears like love, even if you think it is love, if you exist in the Constuct then this love is housed in the home of insanity, the place where the mind actually believes that the world should function according to its expectations and its perception of what it thinks life is.

If you were to honestly observe your behaviour and interactions within a close relationship with another human being, then you may get a glimpse of this rather interesting and fear driven cyber reality, which we in fact live in most if not all of the time.  This strange dimension which we have found ourselves trapped in, is somehow exposed within the confines of the thinking pathways that connect two people while interacting on an intimate level.

So if you have a genuine desire for your life to feel more solid and real, and for your relationships to be embodied with integrity, then this is the perfect topic for you to explore the realms of the Construct and the insatiable desires of the Problem Solving Mind. It is a chance for you to understand the processes of your mind that keep you trapped in a state of wanting and never feeling content, whatever it is that you receive.

Cyber Partner Vs Real Partner

As the years of our lives progress from our childhood onwards we develop a notion of a person that would make the perfect partner for us.  This notion may somewhat modify and change as the years progress, but irrespective of that, it will still be used as your guide to decide who will make it through our protective barriers into our intimate and personal realm of existence.

So where do we create this notion of a perfect partner?

That depends very much on where you grew up and on the kind of influences that you were surrounded by. Remember that an influence is simply information that is received and analysed by the Problem Solving Mind.  Some examples of influences that may have existed in your life are things such as movies, magazines, the internet, novels, television, fantasies, fairytales, childhood romances, dreams, schoolteachers, parents, friend’s parents and friend’s partners; the list is endless.  Usually though there are some key experiences that create lasting impressions on our mind in terms of the images we create of someone that we could imagine being with.

Although we are consciously looking at and analysing the external world through the sexual and partner driven parameters of our mind, the actual development of our vision is happening in the cyber reality of our subconscious, hence it drives our decision making process without us even realising.

And let’s not underestimate the power of sexual energy and all that it is connected to, as it is one of the biggest influencing forces on everything that we do, think and create.

This cyber world of love and sexuality is also heavily affected by the era in which our growing years occur.  In this manner the nature of the information that we are presented with will tend to have a general theme, in terms of what is attractive and what is not from a social consensus perspective.  For example, there have been times in the history of human civilisation where a voluptuous woman was considered the ideal, compared to other more recent times where a woman that is tall and skinny with magnificent breasts is the vision of the ideal woman.  Of course the advent of technological advances in plastic surgery and computer imagery has heavily corrupted the notion of attractiveness.

Everyone has their own personal preference in amongst all of this, but do not underestimate the dramatic influences that this type of information will have on your own expression of what it is you think you want in terms of a partner.

Our first love is actually a cyber person that only exists in the confines of your own mind.

Irrespective of whom you date or possibly end up marrying, your cyber love never leaves your side as this artificial lover is necessary to gauge the worth of all the people that you meet. If you find a person that represents this notion of a perfect partner, the Problem Solving Mind feels so elated that it sees this as the solution to an ever present problem that has existed in its midst.  For to not find the external version of this internal vision creates a permanent gap between what you want and what you have, and to the Problem Solving Mind this is a disturbing reality that must be dealt with.

The DNA factor

To find the perfect partner is such an important part of our existence because we are programmed that way.  From an evolutionary survival perspective these are some of the basic criteria, in no particular order, that determine our choice of partner;

  • physical attractiveness
  • physical prowess
  • sexual attractiveness
  • sexual prowess
  • intelligence and problem-solving ability
  • emotional strength and maturity
  • communication skills
  • capacity to give and receive love
  • capacity for affection
  • levels of empathy
  • desire to nurture
  • levels of honesty and integrity
  • desire to protect
  • spiritually connectedness
  • sense of humour
  • moral and value systems

I could continue with the list, but these are the key qualities which will consciously or subconsciously attract you to another person.  All of these qualities are innate within all humans; however they vary greatly from one individual to the other, both in terms of genetic capacity and development via learning influences. Also, how you prioritise the above list will depend allot on the combination of your own genetics mixed in with your personal learning influences. You may also notice that how you prioritise this list of qualities changes as you get older.  The two biggest influences in this regard can either be the gaining of wisdom or maturity, or a less desirable influence, that being attaching painful fear based memories to certain aspects of your interactions with other people.

Me Tarzan you Jane

The programmed pathways of choosing a mate are clearly evident when you observe the functioning of a multitude of other species.  For example, some species of female birds will choose their mate based on which one can build the best nest, while other species of birds will choose a partner based on the males ability to arrange certain items in such a manner that it is for some indefinable reason, attractive to them.  There is no need to explore the mating habits of the animal kingdom in detail – the issue for us to become aware of is that we are also attracted to various things for indefinable reasons. Our Problem Solving Mind is simply grabbing all of these nature driven forces and trying to control the outcomes while it uses its initial cyber lover as a guide.

Ultimately what we as humans are looking for is the appropriate DNA to mix with our DNA in order to create a new line of DNA, which somehow allows for the continuance of our genetics and hence the observable expression of our existence.  Also there is an underlying feeling in most people that that if they have children then in some way life does continue for them. I do not want to deeply explore whether in some shape or form our life force do get transferred down the DNA pathways, but I think it is worth keeping an open mind as to whether this is the case, or whether this feeling is simply another programmed reality to encourage us to have children.

Another dimension to this topic is that of soul mates. The greater implication here is that the genetic and learnt realities of finding a mate are insignificant compared to the meeting of souls.  Be aware though that the true meeting of soul mates can have no preconceived notion attached to it, otherwise it is just a Cyber Soul Mate that you are chasing and therefore this too will be another artificial realm.

Irrespective of your existing beliefs, I would strongly suggest that you shine the light of conscious awareness on all of the above factors, as they all have an influence on your behaviour and the choices that you make on the journey of your life.

Let the games begin

Now that we have explored the forces of nature and the processes of our mind that create our notion of the ideal partner, the next question to ask is as follows: Is finding the right partner founded in a process of integrity, whereby we have the best interests of the other person in mind. Or is it simply a game of manipulation which serves the purpose of getting what we want?

Sit with that question for awhile before you jump to a conclusion.

Whether you currently have a partner or whether you are looking for one, if you are totally honest with yourself, what is the answer?

I am not trying to corral you into a corner, as there is only one truthful answer to this question relevant to your life.  The answer may be a combination of both.  Whatever the case may be, it is important for you to become aware of these two very different realms.

So where does the game begin?

The game actually began when we first start to slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together to create the vision of our perfect partner.  Where the game starts to get interesting is when we try to match our vision or notion, whether the puzzle is finished or not, with the real world.

So now it is time to ask the next question. Does your perfect notion of a partner actually exist?

Without beating around the bush, the answer is a no! A real person will never be able to match your cyber lover, for easily identifiable reasons: Your notion, although it does evolve to some degree, is a fairly rigid concept in terms of the dynamics that it is embodied with. Whereas a real person is constantly changing in many ways, particularly in regard to their physical self, let alone their needs, desires and any other aspect of there existence that may be conflicting with what you want.  So the odds that a real person will either stay the same, or change and adapt in the exact same format as your notion, let alone matching it exactly in the first place, are not in your favour.

Now you might say: But surely once I meet the right person my cyber lover will cease to exist as I will indulge in the happiness of the love that I have found.

Wouldn’t that be delightful if that was the case – not to say that this never happens. However, if a person is functioning within the cyber reality of their Problem Solving Mind, then the reality is that the chasing of happiness by trying to attain some degree of perfection in the manifestation of their wants is an ever present one.  Even if a person is extraordinarily insecure and therefore chooses a partner that matches their insecurity rather than their vision, they will still always be dissatisfied because both of these realms still exist within the construct. There will always be that feeling in them of the music that was never written and the dream partner that was never found.

Before you focus on finding the right partner, focus on learning to live without identifying with your beliefs.

Focus on being you!

Finally the wait is over

You may be crossing the street, sitting in a cafe or carrying out your duties at work, and then suddenly it happens.  Your radar that has been on the permanent search for the ideal partner scans and finds a match.  You know that this must be “the one” because you can feel it in every part of your existence, as your body is tingling with joyous sensations that you do not regularly feel.  This must be the right person or you couldn’t feel this way. If you have never felt this before or seen another person experience it, then simply watch the movie stars falling in love with their latest co-star.  It happens all the time!

We all have our scanners set to a certain percentage that is acceptable to create a match.  Some people that are extraordinarily insecure may have their radar set to ten percent, whereas an arrogant and overly confident person may have theirs set to around ninety percent. The higher the person is as a match percentage wise to your cyber lover, the more likely it is that you will fall in love and release all sorts of crazy chemicals that can last up to a year.  In this mode people often get married very quickly as they want to secure this “find” before anyone else gets hold of it.

However quickly or desperately you try to lock the other person down to commitment makes very little difference, as you have used a very dangerous process of functioning to choose a partner in the first place. Well of course dangerous is a word like any other that is relevant to the individual, but whatever the case may be, some version of the following scenarios is what is waiting for you…

You could end up trapped in a relationship whereby you feel repressed on an ever increasing level until the term of your natural life, or you will have just embarked on the craziest rollercoaster ride of your life. You will experience the greatest emotional highs and the most painful emotional lows.  Either way I assure you that you have officially joined the Insanity of Humanity club. Now if you were wearing your awareness cap and functioning through a process of integrity, it is highly unlikely that this could ever happen to you. And if it did you would be fully conscious of that and accept that for some reason this is what you needed to experience.  Hence you would extract the appropriate wisdom from it and take this knowing on into your future relationships.

Where did they go?

If the person that you met, that made you so happy could end up making you feel so unhappy, you would probably like the answer to the following question: How can this happen, how could my radar be so misguiding?

Firstly you were chasing something that never existed and secondly you found something that was only a certain percentage of your cyber lover.

Whatever the initial match rating, in the early part of the relationship you will focus on all of the issues attached to the percentage of positive factors that make you feel good. Next the Problem Solving Mind will work very hard and do whatever it takes to keep these factors alive. It does this in two ways.  Firstly by attempting to control and maintain the circumstances that created the initial feeling, and secondly, by ensuring that you present yourself in such a manner that you live up to the other person’s expectations also.

This is the time of romance and putting your best foot forward – red roses, fancy dinners and beautiful poems. I know I’m pushing the point but just hang in there with me, there is good news at the end of all this.

Now remember, the Problem Solving Mind has the job to look out for what is not right in this world, for anything that might be a challenge or a threat to its notion of happiness or security.  Thus when you meet a person and they make you feel absolutely wonderful, the Problem Solving Mind thinks that it has found a gift from heaven. This is because nothing can create good feelings for as long as what is possible from the matching up with a potential partner.

Why? Because nature made it that way as part of the necessary pathway for the survival of us as a species, hence the desire to find a partner and to procreate is our strongest driving force, outside of obvious things like finding food and water.

So, The Problem Solving Mind is not going to let go of these good feelings easily, as although pain is its usual barometer in its decision-making, it thinks it has found an energy source of even greater value.

Cyber love is temporarily more powerful than pain.

The next question is a very important one.

In a relationship with another person, what dynamic do you think could be the greatest threat to you losing these good feelings that you are trying to hold on to?

If your answer is the other person, then for the majority of the time and for the sake of this discussion, you are right.

Ferrari or lover?

Finding a partner is not like finally buying the car of your dreams.  Whereby you find something that has all of the features that you have for so long dreamt of having.  The difference with a car is that you can legally own it, you can keep it locked up in a garage and you can clean it regularly to make sure that it stays looking as wonderful as of the day that you bought it.

Wow, wait a second, this sounds like the way a lot of people treat their partners!

So what if your partner refuses to be treated this way, meaning, they do not want to be owned and live under the expectations of behaving and looking in a certain way to satisfy your desires.  This could signal to the Problem Solving Mind that the energy source of good feelings is under attack.  Slowly but surely you will start focusing on the percentage of factors in your partner that did not initially match.  Before you know it the Problem Solving Mind has taken over the relationship and the need to control will run rampant.  Now the Insanity of Humanity will be exposed in all its glory. This will be your opportunity to see the inevitability of the fact that this would happen, to ensure that you don’t do it again in the future.

Once you start to see your relationship as a problem that needs solving you are once again attached to your processes of pain.

Pain is once again your fuel source.

As mentioned before you will either succumb to the repression that another person is laying upon you with their control, or you will try and control them, or you will start having affairs with other people, or you will run for your life!

Any of the scenarios sound familiar?

So sooner or later you are going to start noticing the percentage that is not right. And these aspects will slowly become your entire focus until the person that once made you feel so wonderful, will be the person that makes you feel so much pain.

This process can happen very gently and slowly, or it can go from one extreme to the other amazingly quickly. When the repression and the lows kick in, who do you think you’re going to blame for how you feel? Your chosen partner of course, I mean it can’t be your fault.

Oh to be famous and fall in love

Back to the movie stars, or any rich and famous people for that matter:  Have you ever noticed how often they fall in love, and then out of love, and then back in love, and so on it goes.  This is because they unwittingly have created a life that makes this scenario highly likely for them. They are living a life where their money or fame has created a false notion, whether these are the notions of other people, or notions created within themselves. Therefore this process of thinking pushes them deep into their Construct, whether it is to protect themselves from the expectations of the world, or whether it is to try and maintain their arrogant and cyber version of how special they are.

Please note that I’m not saying that they are all arrogant, their lifestyles simply leave them more open to this as a possibility. Also, another factor that they have to deal with is that they are constantly working or socialising with other beautiful people in very close and intimate environments. They therefore leave themselves open for their cyber match scanner to find another hit.

So each new pleasure hit, that is, each new person that matches over their minimum percentage line, is probably going to give them a higher level of pleasure than whatever stage their previous relationship is at. This is because the existing relationship would already have started on the deterioration process of focusing on the percentage of negative factors; otherwise they wouldn’t even be slightly interested in meeting a new person. Of course they are under the illusion that this new person is “the one” and that somehow they had made a mistake with the “last one”, or if the existing relationship is still strong enough, they may be able to resist these powerful desires that they have been drawn to.

Whatever the scenario, rich and famous people are simply more at risk than the rest of us to fall under and become addicted to the false notion that feeling good comes from finding a partner.

The mask of love is a fragile one

It would appear that no one is capable of disguising their insanity within close personal relationships; in fact, it would appear that this is the place where we unwittingly reveal our insanity in an attempt to stay sane.  Of course it may be some form of release but it still keeps us trapped deeply embedded in our Construct, maintaining our belief structure, and living true to our Cyber Identities and their wants.

Most people are constantly projecting their future desires on to their relationships as they attempt to control the other person with their expectations and needs. This is done in order to get some kind of insane satisfaction, which has an insatiable quality attached to it. The insatiable quality that is so clearly reminiscent of the Problem Solving Mind. What about you?

If you observe with keen eyes and with great honesty you can see, even on the most subtle of levels, that quite possibly all of your relationships are corrupted with expectations of your needs and wants being met.

Our loving is conditional, our giving is conditional, everything we do and say is somehow connected to the fact that we want something back. To test the truth of this is very easy, for if you feel even the slightest agitation when a person does not respond in the way that you expected, then you have placed conditions upon your giving, so therefore it is not really giving it all.

I know it may appear like I am setting a tough standard here and that I am raising the bar unrealistically high and therefore going against all of my teachings. Hence giving you an expectation to behave in a certain way that is very distant from where you are currently at.  If you were to look at it this way, then once again your Problem Solving Mind would be recruited to try and fill this gap and you would get caught up in the Catch-22 cycle of life in the Construct. Trapped in the never-ending world of problem-solving and being attached to your pain.  Let me make it very clear at this point that whatever I present to you, is simply to highlight where in the mind that you are currently living, not so you can see anything that I say as a problem that need solving, in fact the complete opposite.

I am just trying to wake people up to get them rolling on the process of awareness.  And if you are already on this journey then maybe I can simply expand the possibilities of your thinking.

Either way awareness is the key when you observe from a place of calm reasoning, whereby you do not identify with any aspect of the human journey, but you can still deeply experience it and guide it.

To guide your mind is not like making a choice or a decision. It is simply a process of shining the light of truth through the power of our conscious energy on to the dark reaches of our minds.  So stop and shine the light of truth on your closest relationships and see if even on the smallest of levels, whether there is an element of disappointment when your partner does not do what you want. For if there is then whatever you are giving to this relationship is not pure.  What you are really saying to each other is; “I want you to behave and act in the manner that allows me to hold on to the feeling that attracted me to you in the first place”. Or at the very least hold on to some feeling of security that is dependent on them behaving in a certain manner.

Sit Rover, I said sit!

The Problem Solving Mind and our Cyber Selves attempt to enforce a finite reality on a world that functions through currently non definable and infinite realms.  Be honest.  Observe.  Open your eyes and see the conditions that you place upon your partner, your parents, your children, your friends and even your pets.  Sit very still with this observation.  Remain very calm and you may get a glimpse of the Insanity of Humanity to which you have become firmly attached; an energy, a pathway of functioning, a process of living which you have quite possibly become so heavily reliant upon that you barely even notice the reality of your existence.

Humanity is so caught up in its daily dramas that people barely get a chance to realise that their life is actually being drained from them.  People desperately try and maintain control of their external world, a world that the Problem Solving Mind insatiably attempts to enforce its will upon: an exercise of futility and insanity as we will never get any closer to the state of mind which we are chasing.

Why?  Because what we are chasing does not exist.

This observation which I encourage you to partake in is not to condemn, but to simply allow you to see exactly the precise location of where in the mind we are lost. Through this observation you can truly begin the journey of creating your portal to the truth where you will no longer need to control life to feel good. But instead connect with Isness, and then life will be what it will be.

Through this process you will see the insanity of your own brain, its fears, its insecurities, its desperation as it scrambles to get control all of the time.  The only moments it finds to relax is through exhaustion or when it momentarily gets what it wants.

There is little honour or integrity in the functioning of the Problem Solving Mind, because its fear and insecurity that it will never get what it wants will always corrupt it’s processing and its decisions.  If you wake up to the functioning of the mind in which you have identified with, you will come to the realisation that it is all just a process of manipulation.  Even to love something, and I don’t just mean a partner, anything in fact, is manipulation when your love is connected to a system of fear and when your primary functioning is to get what you want.

Many of you could deny this reality, however ask yourself this: Is it not cold and heartless to attach wanting and expectations to an emotion as beautiful as love?

Love can be expressed without corruption…

But it is only possible when we remove ourselves from the Construct. Otherwise it will always convince you that to step outside is cold and dangerous. The Truth can set you free which in turn will free the mind of its eternal pain and struggle for control; Control that is and always was in fact an illusion.

One of the greatest consequences of not waking up to these processes of life that we are submitting to is depression. As it has become a wide spread modern day phenomena it is certainly worth exploring within the context of the book The Insanity of Humanity.


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